Of course, I have always wanted to be thinner, but it has not always been horrible being a
very "round" person. That changed about 3 years ago, when life started to catch up with me.
I was living in Denver, and at the 1 mile elevation, I began having breathing difficulties,
and soon found myself on 24 hour oxygen and a cpap machine. I found it difficult to walk
across the room without turning blue.
Opting for a lower elevation, I moved home to the California central coast, but although
a bit better, my hypoxia continued. Some of my co-morbids are diabetes, high BP, sleep
apnea, hypoxia, major joint problems, etc., etc. Although I have this year finally
succummed to using the electric carts in the grocery store, I find that it is still
exhausting to me to pull it all together. If I walk about 20 feet without oxygen, my O2
level will drop into the 70's... And even if I do have oxygen, I am in such pain walking
more than a 100 or so feet, that if I do walk into a store, I walk directly to the aisle
I need the one item from and then walk directly to the cash register. Then I am done for
the day.
Whereas I used to be a fully-functioning professional woman with her own business, I am
almost totally disabled. I have never applied for disability, but that was most likely a
big mistake, because it has left us quite financially drained.
I have had 3 doctors tell me that I will be dead by the time I am 50, and since I turn
47 next week, I find that a bit daunting. Therefore, I am giving myself a birthday present,
and I am having surgery and will be in hospital over my birthday.
After a lot of research, I became convinced that the best surgery for me would be the
bpd-ds, but unfortunately, my insurance company will not cover it, (...lots of energy
toward appeals, but no luck). My mother has mortgaged her house to help me pay for the
surgery. It will put me on a 10 year payment plan to repay it, but I am so grateful that
she was willing to provide me this opportunity.
My husband was initially quite upset at the prospect of this surgery; however, having
watched my physical decline, and the ultimate degradation of my spirits because of my
inability to function, he has come to realize that it is the best choice for my future.
I hope this weight loss surgery will bring me the kind of success that this surgery
appears to have afforded so many! My fantasy is to be able to walk into most any store
and buy an outfit. I know a lot of people have goals of being a size 6, but I will be
so thrilled if I could ever fit into an 18 again, and I would think I was in heaven if
I could fit into a 16. Hopefully, these are possibilities, but I will settle for being
able to walk on the beach, take my grandchild to Disneyland in 10 years (he/she hasn't
been born yet... but someday!), and more than anything to be able to take a good deep
breath in!
Elle Rowley
Lompoc, CA
