October 17, 2002.

-100 pounds

September 6, 2002    It seems that I have turned a corner on energy. For the longest time, I seemed to have reached an energy plateau. I was doing MUCH more than previous to surgery, but still not nearly as much as I should have. Although I didn't need oxygen for normal activities, I did notice blue tinges upon exertion.

I think that it is lessening now. I seem to be able to get up and work for much longer stretches this week. I'm painting a room over at my mother's house. (I started it 2 1/2 years ago. I painted over lilac with a tan color... that ended up looking a sucky yellow... so I switched to white... and then my health deteriorated so quickly that I left her for the last 2+ years with a room that was 3 colors ;) I still have to take it slowly, but I have the room almost 1/2 painted now!

I'm also doing some major cleaning in my house... and it is in desperate need of it.

Anyway, just sharing that here at 7 months tomorrow, I have turned a new corner.

July 18, 2002    Sometimes it is very difficult to be one of the slower losers. Sometimes I want to cry when someone has lost what seems to me to be an amazing amount of weight in a very short time... but are still unhappy with the results. I want to shake them and remind them that indeed they are doing absolutely terrific! Their likelihood of reaching their goal is tremendously high!

But for me... and I don't doubt... a few others... weight loss comes a little slower. My ultimate hope of reaching an adequate weightloss may be not as clearly within my grasp. I sometimes hesitate to share my happiness at the loss of 2 or 3 more pounds. In fact, I talked to someone from another group about how she copes with reading about the amazing weightloss of so many others. Her response was "I hit the delete key a lot! I don't even finish reading their email." But I can't bear NOT to share in everyone's success... so I don't hit the delete key, but I revel in your success.

... Laf... kind of a long prologue... to ask that you share in my sheer delight that I have lost 2 more pounds today. At 5 months, 2 1/2 weeks, I have lost 76 pounds! Because I have so much to lose, this is a mere fraction of what I need to lose in order not to be classified as morbidly obese... but it is still a very happy moment for me today.    *^_^*

June 24, 2002. I am now 4 1/2 months post op. A few little miracles happened to me last week!

I picked up a dime

I forgot my doctor's name

I parked halfway down the parking lot... without even thinking... so my car would be in the shade

I drove to Paso Robles... about 4 hours round trip ... and I felt great

Today, it is 3 months 10 days since my surgery... and I have had a little time to reflect back on my decision to have the DS, the misery of the first several weeks following surgery, and the changes which have already taken place.

Last night I attended the Paso Robles support group meeting and learned that I am now -56 pounds. The loss of those 56 pounds has already changed my life dramatically. I no longer have to take my blood pressure or diabetes medication. Whereas pre-surgery I was on oxygen 24/7... the oxygen concentrator is now quiet... the CPAP is idle... the wheelchair has remained in the trunk of the car for 3 months.

For months before surgery I never drove myself anywhere... after being dropped off at the door of a store, I had a maximum of 5-10 minutes before I reached the point of near collapse. Well, last Saturday, I shopped with my husband at several stores in the morning. In the evening, I drove myself to the Wal-Mart where I walked all around the building. I then drove myself to Albertson's and grocery shopped throughout the store. It was the most I have walked in one day in at least 3 years!

At last night's support meeting there was a pre-op woman there who reminded me a lot of me before surgery. Oh, her condition is a bit worse than mine was... however, before surgery, I was on a freight train going downhill with no brakes. I didn't catch her name, but she is scheduled for surgery on July 5th.

To see the dichotomy between where I was 3 months and 10 days ago... to the amazing changes in my life now... well, it was all that I could do to keep from bursting into tears in gratitude. I am so happy for this sweet lady who is having surgery July 5th... and I look forward to watching her regain her life, just as everyday, I recapture a little more of mine.

4/21/02 I survived the surgery! I'm about 10 weeks post op. I have had a fairly rough recovery... well, especially the first 5 weeks. Having had 3 previous abdominal surgeries, I expected to weather the DS without much trouble (barring major complications). How wrong I was! My hysterectomy was a walk in the park compared to the DS!

My biggest trouble the first 5 weeks was intense acid and constant vomiting. I could almost not sleep, and counted the time by minutes to get through. Somehow at about the 5 week mark, it just seemed to dissipate. I had tried many possibilities, but it just seemed to go away on its own.

My difficulty right now is finding the right foods that don't cause me 3-4 hours of diarrhea every morning. I have worked hard to cut out any relationship to any kind of milk products and it has improved things. I'm still struggling with getting adequate protein intake... but when I manage to get more protein, it seems that my stomach actually has less trouble. I cannot stand protein drinks. I have purchased probably $150 of different protein products and all of them make me almost instantly gag. I purchased several different protein bars and they are almost worse. I have tried the soy, the whey, the ispure clear... they are all ghastly. Now, I'm into getting protein with meat, peanut butter, and tofu. Dr. K wants us to get 80 grams of protein everyday and that is a lot to eat!

Now to the good... I no longer take diabetes medication; I no longer use oxygen. I can wash the dishes for an hour without having intense back pain (compared to 5-10 minutes pre-op when I would be in complete agony). I used to have to use the electric carts if I went shopping at all...after being dropped off at the door to the store and picked up at the door. Now I can drive myself to Wal-Mart...park in the parking lot... walk into the store... walk up and down the aisles through the entire store... and check out and walk back to my car in the parking lot.

Friday I drove to another city and gave six 40-minute presentations... one after the other... and drove myself home -- (after walking all around the school). I still walk with a cane for a little extra security.

Anyway, my life has dramatically changed for the better... I just wish I could get my tummy in line!

On another note... on another Yahoo group I belong to a 35-year old gentleman named Russell Bazemore underwent wls surgery (not the DS) this past week and died shortly afterward. It appears he probably threw a blood clot. I just mention it in case someone wants to say a prayer or leave a message for his family by clicking here. We all know that but by the grace of God... there go any one of us.

1/18/2002   I may be the only patient of Dr. K's that has the distinction of getting to eat steak on her surgery date! Heh, well, it is true, but the fact is I never quite made it under the knife.

I checked into the hospital Wednesday morning, got my legs all aced up, my IV started, kissed my husband goodbye… then they put the stuff in the IV to put me out. The next thing I knew I awoke to the words "breathe Elle… take a deep breath Elle" … I was under the very distinct impression at the time that I couldn't breathe, but as I tried to calm myself… with strong words of encouragment… I was able to take some deep breaths.

Dr. K and staff had valiantly tried to intubate me (put the breathing tube in), but my trachea was so swollen that there was no way they could get the tube in! With my now somewhat awake help, they tried to put in the tube in a couple of different ways, but no way was it going to happen.

So, I managed to make it to the operating room, but failed to find the knife!

I'm rescheduled for surgery February 7th… following 3 weeks of breathing treatments! It is a bit intimidating to think of gearing all up for surgery again, but the alternative of just forgetting the surgery is totally unthinkable!

1/07/2002   SURGERY DATE: January 17, 2002. So many details to attend to now! I need to tie up lots of loose ends (including the money)! The die is cast!

1/06/2002   It's a New Year! My surgery will be either the end of January (if they can reschedule me) or the 6th of February. I have decided to self-pay for positive with a loan from my mother. Even with Dr. K's rates, my loan will be higher than our yearly net income; however, we have opted to take on a 10- year debt with the prayer that it will restore my health enough that I can work and help pay for it!

I have all my pre-op tests completed except my room ABG's. I'm starting to plan the items I need to take with me to the hospital. I'm also trying to talk to people about the practical reality of the slight possibility I won't make it and what needs to be done in that event. My belief, though, is that 2002 is a lucky year for me! I have had several unlucky years in a row, so I am convinced that my bad luck is all gone.   2002 is lucky!

12/31/2001   On the eve of a New Year! I have been denied by my medical group (Midcoast Care); I have been denied by Health Net Insurance; I have been denied by the California Department of Managed Health Care. All of these people have effectively voted for my death. If I were to leave my life in their hands, I could write my will today and kiss my son and husband goodbye and wait for death. My personal doctor says, "It's a dollars and cents thing." Nice to know that people have added up the costs and then voted for my death because it will cost them less money.

10/12/2001   Visited Dr. Posson, my PCP, today. I talked about my fears of dying because of my weight... told him I was "scared to death." His response was "you should be." When I queried regarding an appeal to his Medical Group who has turned down my request for the DS, he said he was "powerless." Dr. Posson gave me the names, phone numbers and addresses of the two primary men who have refused me the DS surgery.   I am preparing a persuasive argument appeal which will consist of a notebook with appendix where study after study supports the DS surgery, especially for the "super obese." I am afraid today... and I am "mad as hell" that two men have the power to decide that I should not have a future.

10/10/2001   I woke up this morning crying thinking about a pulmonologist who I saw recently who almost excitedly said that if I continued having trouble breathing that they would cut a hole in my chest, giving me a tracheotomy. There was no question about whether they would approve that surgery... or all of the medical expenses that would surround that kind of horror. But approve the DS? Oh, No! The doctors don't think that is a necessary surgery. No sense getting rid of the problem that was causing the breathing difficulty! Tears... tears while I can still cry.

10/08/2001 Today my 70 year old mother made me an incredible offer. She plans to take a loan out on her house and lend me the money to pay for her surgery. It is hard for me to believe the generosity of that offer. Mom said, "I'm not going to have any daughter of mine die before I do, and I'm not ready to die for quite a few years!"

Today is the Canadian Thanksgiving, and although I am only a shirt-tail Canadian relative (my son married a lovely Canadian girl and is a landed immigrant in Canada), I guess it is Thanksgiving for me today.

I am still going to fight the insurance company because it is very upsetting that my mother on a fixed income should jeopardize her future for me when I have perfectly good insurance.

Sunday, October 7, 2001 My son just told me that he and his wife are "trying to get pregnant." I'm so excited at the prospect of being a Grandma!

But I'm also terrified that I'm not going to be here to see my first Grandbaby. My insurance has turned me down for the DS procedure. I am fighting for this to be overturned, but who knows if it will be.

My health is not good because I am such a round person... BMI 67. They came out and rechecked my oxygen Friday because I told them it is getting worse. And... yes it is. I walked about 30 feet and my O2 level dropped to 77. We stopped it there. (O2 level should be between 90 and 100). I knew it was getting bad because I thought I was going to pass out in a store the other day when I walked to the back to go to the pharmacy to get my multiple prescriptions refilled.

I'm going to die unless I do something.... and I'm devastated that I've been turned down for the surgery. I've spent the last week in tears because of it.

I'm sorry to be so whiny about this, but I'm upset; I'm scared; and I'm mad as hell that I might not be here to see my Grandbaby. (Two doctors have told me I probably won't live to see 50... and I'm 46 now.)

Sunday, September 30, 2001 This week I received the denial of the Duodenal Switch surgery from both my medical group (Midcoast Care, Inc.) and Health Net (California). Both of these indicated that the Duodenal Switch is an "experimental" or "investigational" surgery.

A week and a half ago I attended a weight loss support group for Duodenal Switch in Paso Robles, California. It was both encouraging and discouraging. Some of the people who were still pre-op didn't look to me as if they even needed the surgery...but then who am I to judge. I don't walk in their shoes.

I have joined a couple of yahoo groups which address both general issues with weightloss and insurance problems. That right now is the most encouraging part of this whole deal.

Sometimes I think that if it were not for my son and husband, I would think there was no sense in remaining here on earth. However, thankfully for me, I do have my son and husband... who are both VERY supportive. (Don't worry, I am not a suicide risk... just I am very despairing.) Although my medical group does not support me, my personal care physician is supportive. I think my doctor flunked math, however, as he says my BMI is 53; however, on any BMI calculator I have been on, it says my BMI is in the mid 60's.

According to Gagner, there is a study by "MacLean et al" which reports a 43% failure for successful surgery results for those with superobesity (with a BMI>50) with traditional surgery. Maybe there will be some hope of my appeal for the DS surgery because my BMI is over 50.

Health Net HAS paid for several people which I can document. I was also told by two of the women in Health Net's grievance department that a lady in THEIR office just had the DS surgery. Now who do you suppose paid for "her" surgery? Well, I'm thinking Health Net made an exception for her. Why did they NOT make an exception for me then? Is it because it is "experimental" or "investigational?" No... it is money. I also hear that Medicare pays for this surgery... Medicare never pays for something they deem experimental. I also understand that the Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN is now performing this surgery.